HAPPY PRIDE TO ALL YOU LOVEABLE QUEERIOS!!!

Queerios: I like Queers. I like Cheerios. Queerios just sounds fun to say and, by logic of merging words together, should be double the awesome!!

Happy Pride to all you BEAUTIFUL Queer folk out there! Toronto, Canada is getting ready for its weekend bash after a week of funery, and coming in on the tide of all this fun stuff is the announcement of Same-Sex Marriage (or as I like to call it, marriage) being legalized in ALL 50 states of the US of A!!!!1

*Standing O for ‘Murica!!!*

Sorry all you bible thumping, Monday to Saturday sinning, Sunday repenting, equal rights for all HUMANS hating jerk offs out there who get upset cause others have found happiness and love that has nothing to do with you…(I’m not actually sorry).

Anyone seen the dumbass tweets from people who think America is going straight to hell in a hand basket because of this legalization so they’ve decided to move to Canada?

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Y’all need to look up June 29, 2005. Just do it…I’m not gonna ruin the surprise for you…yes I am.

June 29, 2005, Canada legalized Same-Sex Marriage across all 10 provinces and 3 territories (aka all of Canada), so I don’t know where y’all think y’all going. BYE FELICIA!!

With this revelation of American history in the making, I’ve realized that I, as a Trinidadian born Canadian lesbian, get congratulated on such an amazing historical event.

Umm…why? I mean, I’m not gonna turn down your high five but I ain’t do shit. Did y’all want me to pass it along? If so, this is me passing it along. Way to go, Americans *high five*

To those we were just passing on the exciting news, I got half a bottle of Kraken rum if you’ve got coke so that we can celebrate in honour of our fellow Queerios in America *wink*

Well whatever I’m doing this weekend or whatever y’all are doing this weekend, let’s make sure it’s a gay ole time! Party safe and party hard, Rainbow Warriors!!! Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do (hint: there isn’t much I wouldn’t do so just be smart about it hahaha)

#ThoseRinaRantsDoe

What Is 4 AM?

Sooooooooz I know for sure that I haven’t updated y’all on my job situation. I quit that hateful smoothie bar and started working at a gym in an airport. Pretty chill job so I’m loving it. I only work 3 days a week which is great but sucks too.

Pro: more days off to just chill and be.

Con: going from full-time monies to part-time monies are making my bank account feel sadly lighter 😥

Could be worse tho. Could be jobless…or worse, still at hateful smoothies *shudder*

What’s also great about this job is free membership to any of the other gyms of the same name, my AMAZING BossLady is this fiery and adorable, little pregnant bundle of awesome, my coworkers are few but cool peeps, oh and I don’t have to wake up early for shifts!!!

…unless a morning shift needs to be covered.

Morning shift = 4 AM to 11:30 AM aka fucking hell.

Random fact about Rina: when she was younger, she slept around 12-15 hrs a day (totally possible given 24 hrs a day, school was 6 hrs, which left me with 3-6 hrs of no life). She’d only cut back on sleeping hours if she had to involve herself with friends and on weekends. Rina has now been leading a more wakeful life, sleeping around 5-8 hrs a night with a 2-3 hr nap on random days. Fact still remains that Rina loves her sleep and becomes a fucking zombie or angry monster when sleep deprived. (Zombie most of the time; Monster when asked to perform even the simplest of things.)

Back to morning shifts. I don’t understand how people do this shit (I just misspelled shit as hsit…). Add in my stupidity where, although this is only the second time I’ve worked someone’s morning shift, I believe that I can go out the night before and just come straight from the club to work and be perfectly fine.

*head tilt* … *blink* …. *blink*

Reason I think that? I’M TRYNA BE LIKE MY MUM!! Apparently Lady used to do that all the time. Lady also survives on a shit ton LESS sleep. I’m not even sure she sleeps most days. Don’t know for sure cause I’m, y’know, asleep.

Mum is a phenomenal Lady and all but how sad is it that this women, who will be twice my age next year, done did it betta den she daughta?

I’m learning tho. Last week I could barely stay awake and had to zombie walk around the gym to stay relatively awake. made the members laugh tho. Today, I caught a few zzz during the hour that no one was here (because who fucking works out at 4AM?!), caught a massage, again, when no one was here, and pretty much just did the eyes closed but still alert enough to hear the door open.

Yay me!!! Shit’s still hard tho. Gotta survive another 4.5 hrs -_- and I’ll probably still do it again

If any of y’all out in the interwebz do this on the regular, I got one question for you. HOW THE FUCK DO YOU DO THIS SHIT? Drop a hint on how to stay awake (for someone who doesn’t drink energy drinks) and I will return that with positive vibes sent your way!

#ThoseRinaRantsDoe

Blog BLOCKED!!

Hi, my name’s Rina and I have a problem.

Writer’s Block.

Y’know, I wasn’t sure before what exactly that was but then it hit me…hard. I haven’t written anything since February and that hurts. WTF Rina?! I made a promise to myself that I would blog more -_- …so much for that.

Not blogging actually makes me really sad. I had started this blog in hopes of helping me with another problem. My blocked connection to my poetry. THAT problem is like a slow fucking death!!! I discovered my poetic self at age 17 and lost it a few years ago. A FEW YEARS!! Way too long!! I mean, it pops up every once in a while but it’s like a little tease. I think I’ve found the stream of my words, only to realize it’s just a puddle.

I am THIRSTY for my words. I miss their flow. I miss seeing my pen flow across my random notebooks or scraps of random paper that I grab because I need to jot down something quick.

*sigh* can you tell I miss it yet?

What brought this blog post on then, Rina? So glad you asked!

So I was sitting here reading my Sweet One’s blog (you can find it here. Sweet One is a Krafty Kween so if your looking to be inspired by kweel DIY projects such as crotchet clothing or up-cycled jewelry, I strongly suggest you check the blog out!). I’m chilling at work so I’m not even really supposed to be doing this (oops…) but fuck it! Getting back to blogging and writing has been on my mind for a while now. I was recently, albeit briefly, poetically inspired by a wonderfully windy night that promised an equally wonderful storm (the never happened) the next day. I was walking home from the not-so-close mall and all I could think about was my LOVE for Storms! The Wind was asking me to dance while Rain and Thunder played an amazing symphony, with Lightning Ballerinas moving all around me. Lady Moon and her Star babies sat and watched in the audience; Lady Moon holding a beautiful Cheshire grin! I shared this story with Sweet One who told me I need to write that stuff down. I then explained about dam in my poetic river, to which Sweet One replied I should write down whatever comes, whenever it comes. I thought about all of this while reading my Krafty Kween’s blog and decided I need to just open my blog and start typing!

This is the result, which I’m actually pretty proud of, although it isn’t much more than just getting my feels out. Then again, isn’t that what writing is for a lot of folks?

#ThoseRinaRantsDoe

What’s A Sleepless Person To Do?

I was gonna title this “What’s An Insomniac To Do?”, but I feel like that’s rather rude to actual insomniacs. The only time I really can’t sleep is when I’m feeling some type of negative way but I don’t think you can really class that as having insomnia. I think it’s just a side effect of my negative emotions. So, from this, we get:

“What’s A Sleepless Person To Do?”

Still doesn’t sound 100 but whatever ’cause that’s not the point. Point is: SOMEONE HELP ME FALL ASLEEP!!!

Now, as I’ve said, I’m feeling some type of ways but we ain’t gonna get into the whys or hows. I just wanna fall asleep. Negative emotions + sleepless nights = headaches, pissed off-edness, and random bullshit such as my previous post. This could end in all of that following me into the morning OR unknowingly falling into a black out sleep that I wake from extremely groggy and I lack the capabilities to function as a human should all day the next day. *HOLY RUN ON SENTENCE BATMAN!!*

Does anyone else’s mind wonder into a seemingly random connection of mental spaces? Like, I was writing that run-on sentence and all of a sudden, I thought about how this chick at my last job borrowed my red bowtie, broke it, and never replaced it. I feel like, because we had a falling out right before I quit, she feels she’s out of replacing it. Naw bitch! A bowtie lesbian needs her bowties!! And that was my red one!!! My fucking red one that I loved immensely!!!

Bruh.

Imma need that back. She’s getting a text tomorrow morning. Yup.

I’m contemplating brushing up on my French tonight (see? Random topic change). I wonder if that’ll put me to sleep and potentially trigger French dreams, which I adore having and haven’t had in a while. Regardless of whether or not I start doing that tonight, I need to put that into motion for my upcoming cruise line job interview. That and Spanish, which I don’t know but am trying to teach myself. I think I can accomplish all that in the next 15 (going on 14) days. Totally! French is only a brush up so shouldn’t take long and they’ll be okay with not being fully fluent in Spanish yet. Although now that I’m jobless and home all day, who knows?! Maybe I can get fluent!!

…or nah.

I think I’m gonna go brush my teeth. I wanna brush with baking soda so I can whiten my smile before the interview but I’ll save that for occupying my daytime hours, since I’m actually supposed to be sleeping right now.

You hear that Sleep? I’m supposed to be in the Land of Slumber. Did you forget me? Where’s the Sandman when you need him?

MAN! All the negative feels. They suck. This sorta distracted me from it for a bit but now I’m running out of things to say, so I’m like…having thoughts again…undistracted thoughts.

Welp, time to force slumber. Time to turn off the lights and just lay in bed with my eyes closed. Eventually it’ll become the real thing, right? Meh, whatevs.

#ThoseRinaRants Doe

…but now I’m hungry.

Rina Down the Rabbit Hole

Sorry Mr. White, I don’t think I’ll sleep tonight. Hop along and tell the Queen to start her game without me. The flamingos never liked me anyways, and the red roses made me sneeze. The white ones were fine. I shall miss the hedgehogs though.

I think I’ll see if the Mad Hatter can help. Or maybe the March Hare. They’ve invented so many teas, it’s forever a party there. They must have one to stay my slumber and block my flow of dreams. I shan’t ask the Dormouse though. Sleep is never far from her.

No. I must visit my friend, the Caterpillar. His wisdom is always mad made sense, with help of a puff or two. It’s a sure thing! Just ask the grin, of the cat named Cheshire, fair.

All these Netherlings are splendid beings, in a world so vivid and wild. Who needs those dreams – well nightmares really – of mistakes made and disappointments running rampant. I’ll stay a while. I’ll stay so long until everything fades and all that’s left hanging is a smile.

I really don’t know where I was going with this one. Not feeling the greatest and all that was running through my head was Alice in Wonderland (my favorite book btw).

2014: The Year I Sucked

I’m come to the shocking understanding that the reason the year 2014 was such absolute shit, is because I was absolute shit.

*Minion voice* Whaaaaaaaaaaaat?!

Yup. You read that right. I was absolute shit.

Why do I say that? ‘Cause this year so much things are happening for me! I left my shit job because it was driving me to a nervous breakdown. That was scary but it pushed me to actually going about getting another job because my safety net was gone. At the moment I have another job but because the place isn’t completely built yet, I haven’t started. I’m okay with this because I’m interviewing for a job I really want (cruise line….Rina tryna be on a boat bitches!!!). If I don’t happen to get this job, well I have the first job to fall back on. I applied for college, AND FUCKING GOT IN!!!!!

This year has barely started and I’ve already had these amazing things happen because on January 1st, 2015, I decided to leave all the negative bullshit in 2014. I decided to be fucking positive and do things. Stop dragging my ass and FUCKING GET SHIT DONE!

This is how I know that 2014 sucked because I sucked.

Oh no! I have no money/savings! So stop spending money on unnecessary shit. But this would help alleviate my boredom.

This job is driving me fucking INSANE!! So find a new job so you can quit. But no one wants to hire me cause I’m a loser.

I wanna go back to school. So apply. But I fucked up at school the first time around and they’re gonna look at that and not want me.

These were just a few of my internal monologues that went on in my head during the year of 2014. Not nice, right? Two words:

  1. Never
  2. Again

…okay well I’m gonna try for this to never happen again. No promises.

My internal monologue sucked and I knew it sucked but I let it just drag me down and fuck me over. So this year I’m trying a ting. I’m trying positivity.

I shit you not, I struggled for a few days. Like, all of a sudden, everyone just sucked and everything was stupid and I literally had to choose positivity in all those situations. I actually hit a [figurative] wall one day and just felt depressed. I think my mental space and emotions were just adjusting so that one day was necessary.

I need to remember to keep these feelings and this motivation and conviction. I like it. A lot more good things happen when I’m like this lol

Let’s stay tune to see if Rina keeps this up!

#ThoseRinaRantsDoe

AHHH! Change Is Coming!!!

Okay so I’m not afraid of change or anything. I actually love change! The change that’s about to happen tho…

Sooo as I’ve ranted before, I absolutely HATE my job. Oh wait, did I say hate? I meant absolutely despise with every breathe and every fart. So, y’know, just a likkle bit.

In an attempt to change that, I’ve decided to do something drastic that I told myself NOT to do: I’m quitting without finding another job first…

AHHHHHHHH!!!!

I know that sounds really irresponsible and it sorta is but I cannot stand another minute in that place, let alone however many days/months til I find a new job. I actually woke up one morning, went to work, and opened the store. After about 10 second, I realized that I hated being there so much that it was starting to strongly affect me mentally, which was causing physical pains as well. Y’all don’t know me but I’m prone to depression and I know that when I get to this stage, I’m 5 seconds away from having a breakdown.

How this breakdown is going to manifest? I have no idea. It could be just me breaking down in tears one day, either at work or at home; it could be me blowing the fuck up and getting seriously anger, almost to the point of violence at work (my Boss usually leaves me feeling angry when she’s around); it could be that I’m actually having a breakdown now by just up and saying, as of Jan. 31st, I no longer work there. I have no fucking clue.

I do know, however, that I will NOT be working there as of Feb. 1st.

Now on to some exciting news:

I HAVE 2 JOB PROSPECTS!!! (I also don’t actually know if “prospects” is the correct word to use…oh well)

Okay so, the place I work for now? There’s a new store opening in the airport. Since all the stores are franchise, therefore independently owned, it’s not about getting transferred. I actually need to go and apply, which I did. I was an idiot tho and didn’t check my email until days later and realised that the owner had messaged me back the next day, asking about getting me in for an interview. Forgive me, but I’m used to people calling you for interviews. I message her quickly saying I’m so sorry and that I was busy and I gave her all my availabilities for interview times. I’m going to New Orleans next week, which I explained to her, and she said let her know when I get back so we can get an interview in after. I’m hopeful lol

Next job “prospect,” is FOR A FUCKING CRUISE LINE!!! (Can you tell I really want this one?) I get email notifications for when they’re recruiting for positions and I thought “why the fuck not?” Sent off my resume. This time tho, I was smart. Checked my email twice the next day. Got an email asking to schedule a skype interview and to pick a time slot. If I wasn’t working on Monday, I would have chosen the earliest Monday time. As it stands, I have the earliest Tuesday time and I’ll be damned if I don’t wake up like 2 hrs ahead, just to shower, eat, and look fancy for a skype interview. Only small [potential] drawback is that the larger interview/hiring happens on the 19th and that’s the day I get back from New Orleans. If I make it thru the skype interview, I’m hoping that the stuff happening on the 19th takes all day so I can still get there after landing, or the lady likes me enough to compromise time slots.

This is so scary and exciting, it’s ridiculous. Honestly, even tho I SERIOUSLY want the cruise job, I will settle for either just so I’m not completely jobless when I leave where I work now. That would be great and I’d still have kept my promise to myself 🙂

Wish me luck?

#ThoseRinaRantsTho