What Is 4 AM?

Sooooooooz I know for sure that I haven’t updated y’all on my job situation. I quit that hateful smoothie bar and started working at a gym in an airport. Pretty chill job so I’m loving it. I only work 3 days a week which is great but sucks too.

Pro: more days off to just chill and be.

Con: going from full-time monies to part-time monies are making my bank account feel sadly lighter 😥

Could be worse tho. Could be jobless…or worse, still at hateful smoothies *shudder*

What’s also great about this job is free membership to any of the other gyms of the same name, my AMAZING BossLady is this fiery and adorable, little pregnant bundle of awesome, my coworkers are few but cool peeps, oh and I don’t have to wake up early for shifts!!!

…unless a morning shift needs to be covered.

Morning shift = 4 AM to 11:30 AM aka fucking hell.

Random fact about Rina: when she was younger, she slept around 12-15 hrs a day (totally possible given 24 hrs a day, school was 6 hrs, which left me with 3-6 hrs of no life). She’d only cut back on sleeping hours if she had to involve herself with friends and on weekends. Rina has now been leading a more wakeful life, sleeping around 5-8 hrs a night with a 2-3 hr nap on random days. Fact still remains that Rina loves her sleep and becomes a fucking zombie or angry monster when sleep deprived. (Zombie most of the time; Monster when asked to perform even the simplest of things.)

Back to morning shifts. I don’t understand how people do this shit (I just misspelled shit as hsit…). Add in my stupidity where, although this is only the second time I’ve worked someone’s morning shift, I believe that I can go out the night before and just come straight from the club to work and be perfectly fine.

*head tilt* … *blink* …. *blink*

Reason I think that? I’M TRYNA BE LIKE MY MUM!! Apparently Lady used to do that all the time. Lady also survives on a shit ton LESS sleep. I’m not even sure she sleeps most days. Don’t know for sure cause I’m, y’know, asleep.

Mum is a phenomenal Lady and all but how sad is it that this women, who will be twice my age next year, done did it betta den she daughta?

I’m learning tho. Last week I could barely stay awake and had to zombie walk around the gym to stay relatively awake. made the members laugh tho. Today, I caught a few zzz during the hour that no one was here (because who fucking works out at 4AM?!), caught a massage, again, when no one was here, and pretty much just did the eyes closed but still alert enough to hear the door open.

Yay me!!! Shit’s still hard tho. Gotta survive another 4.5 hrs -_- and I’ll probably still do it again

If any of y’all out in the interwebz do this on the regular, I got one question for you. HOW THE FUCK DO YOU DO THIS SHIT? Drop a hint on how to stay awake (for someone who doesn’t drink energy drinks) and I will return that with positive vibes sent your way!

#ThoseRinaRantsDoe

Blog BLOCKED!!

Hi, my name’s Rina and I have a problem.

Writer’s Block.

Y’know, I wasn’t sure before what exactly that was but then it hit me…hard. I haven’t written anything since February and that hurts. WTF Rina?! I made a promise to myself that I would blog more -_- …so much for that.

Not blogging actually makes me really sad. I had started this blog in hopes of helping me with another problem. My blocked connection to my poetry. THAT problem is like a slow fucking death!!! I discovered my poetic self at age 17 and lost it a few years ago. A FEW YEARS!! Way too long!! I mean, it pops up every once in a while but it’s like a little tease. I think I’ve found the stream of my words, only to realize it’s just a puddle.

I am THIRSTY for my words. I miss their flow. I miss seeing my pen flow across my random notebooks or scraps of random paper that I grab because I need to jot down something quick.

*sigh* can you tell I miss it yet?

What brought this blog post on then, Rina? So glad you asked!

So I was sitting here reading my Sweet One’s blog (you can find it here. Sweet One is a Krafty Kween so if your looking to be inspired by kweel DIY projects such as crotchet clothing or up-cycled jewelry, I strongly suggest you check the blog out!). I’m chilling at work so I’m not even really supposed to be doing this (oops…) but fuck it! Getting back to blogging and writing has been on my mind for a while now. I was recently, albeit briefly, poetically inspired by a wonderfully windy night that promised an equally wonderful storm (the never happened) the next day. I was walking home from the not-so-close mall and all I could think about was my LOVE for Storms! The Wind was asking me to dance while Rain and Thunder played an amazing symphony, with Lightning Ballerinas moving all around me. Lady Moon and her Star babies sat and watched in the audience; Lady Moon holding a beautiful Cheshire grin! I shared this story with Sweet One who told me I need to write that stuff down. I then explained about dam in my poetic river, to which Sweet One replied I should write down whatever comes, whenever it comes. I thought about all of this while reading my Krafty Kween’s blog and decided I need to just open my blog and start typing!

This is the result, which I’m actually pretty proud of, although it isn’t much more than just getting my feels out. Then again, isn’t that what writing is for a lot of folks?

#ThoseRinaRantsDoe

What’s A Sleepless Person To Do?

I was gonna title this “What’s An Insomniac To Do?”, but I feel like that’s rather rude to actual insomniacs. The only time I really can’t sleep is when I’m feeling some type of negative way but I don’t think you can really class that as having insomnia. I think it’s just a side effect of my negative emotions. So, from this, we get:

“What’s A Sleepless Person To Do?”

Still doesn’t sound 100 but whatever ’cause that’s not the point. Point is: SOMEONE HELP ME FALL ASLEEP!!!

Now, as I’ve said, I’m feeling some type of ways but we ain’t gonna get into the whys or hows. I just wanna fall asleep. Negative emotions + sleepless nights = headaches, pissed off-edness, and random bullshit such as my previous post. This could end in all of that following me into the morning OR unknowingly falling into a black out sleep that I wake from extremely groggy and I lack the capabilities to function as a human should all day the next day. *HOLY RUN ON SENTENCE BATMAN!!*

Does anyone else’s mind wonder into a seemingly random connection of mental spaces? Like, I was writing that run-on sentence and all of a sudden, I thought about how this chick at my last job borrowed my red bowtie, broke it, and never replaced it. I feel like, because we had a falling out right before I quit, she feels she’s out of replacing it. Naw bitch! A bowtie lesbian needs her bowties!! And that was my red one!!! My fucking red one that I loved immensely!!!

Bruh.

Imma need that back. She’s getting a text tomorrow morning. Yup.

I’m contemplating brushing up on my French tonight (see? Random topic change). I wonder if that’ll put me to sleep and potentially trigger French dreams, which I adore having and haven’t had in a while. Regardless of whether or not I start doing that tonight, I need to put that into motion for my upcoming cruise line job interview. That and Spanish, which I don’t know but am trying to teach myself. I think I can accomplish all that in the next 15 (going on 14) days. Totally! French is only a brush up so shouldn’t take long and they’ll be okay with not being fully fluent in Spanish yet. Although now that I’m jobless and home all day, who knows?! Maybe I can get fluent!!

…or nah.

I think I’m gonna go brush my teeth. I wanna brush with baking soda so I can whiten my smile before the interview but I’ll save that for occupying my daytime hours, since I’m actually supposed to be sleeping right now.

You hear that Sleep? I’m supposed to be in the Land of Slumber. Did you forget me? Where’s the Sandman when you need him?

MAN! All the negative feels. They suck. This sorta distracted me from it for a bit but now I’m running out of things to say, so I’m like…having thoughts again…undistracted thoughts.

Welp, time to force slumber. Time to turn off the lights and just lay in bed with my eyes closed. Eventually it’ll become the real thing, right? Meh, whatevs.

#ThoseRinaRants Doe

…but now I’m hungry.

Rina Down the Rabbit Hole

Sorry Mr. White, I don’t think I’ll sleep tonight. Hop along and tell the Queen to start her game without me. The flamingos never liked me anyways, and the red roses made me sneeze. The white ones were fine. I shall miss the hedgehogs though.

I think I’ll see if the Mad Hatter can help. Or maybe the March Hare. They’ve invented so many teas, it’s forever a party there. They must have one to stay my slumber and block my flow of dreams. I shan’t ask the Dormouse though. Sleep is never far from her.

No. I must visit my friend, the Caterpillar. His wisdom is always mad made sense, with help of a puff or two. It’s a sure thing! Just ask the grin, of the cat named Cheshire, fair.

All these Netherlings are splendid beings, in a world so vivid and wild. Who needs those dreams – well nightmares really – of mistakes made and disappointments running rampant. I’ll stay a while. I’ll stay so long until everything fades and all that’s left hanging is a smile.

I really don’t know where I was going with this one. Not feeling the greatest and all that was running through my head was Alice in Wonderland (my favorite book btw).

2014: The Year I Sucked

I’m come to the shocking understanding that the reason the year 2014 was such absolute shit, is because I was absolute shit.

*Minion voice* Whaaaaaaaaaaaat?!

Yup. You read that right. I was absolute shit.

Why do I say that? ‘Cause this year so much things are happening for me! I left my shit job because it was driving me to a nervous breakdown. That was scary but it pushed me to actually going about getting another job because my safety net was gone. At the moment I have another job but because the place isn’t completely built yet, I haven’t started. I’m okay with this because I’m interviewing for a job I really want (cruise line….Rina tryna be on a boat bitches!!!). If I don’t happen to get this job, well I have the first job to fall back on. I applied for college, AND FUCKING GOT IN!!!!!

This year has barely started and I’ve already had these amazing things happen because on January 1st, 2015, I decided to leave all the negative bullshit in 2014. I decided to be fucking positive and do things. Stop dragging my ass and FUCKING GET SHIT DONE!

This is how I know that 2014 sucked because I sucked.

Oh no! I have no money/savings! So stop spending money on unnecessary shit. But this would help alleviate my boredom.

This job is driving me fucking INSANE!! So find a new job so you can quit. But no one wants to hire me cause I’m a loser.

I wanna go back to school. So apply. But I fucked up at school the first time around and they’re gonna look at that and not want me.

These were just a few of my internal monologues that went on in my head during the year of 2014. Not nice, right? Two words:

1. Never
2. Again

…okay well I’m gonna try for this to never happen again. No promises.

My internal monologue sucked and I knew it sucked but I let it just drag me down and fuck me over. So this year I’m trying a ting. I’m trying positivity.

I shit you not, I struggled for a few days. Like, all of a sudden, everyone just sucked and everything was stupid and I literally had to choose positivity in all those situations. I actually hit a [figurative] wall one day and just felt depressed. I think my mental space and emotions were just adjusting so that one day was necessary.

I need to remember to keep these feelings and this motivation and conviction. I like it. A lot more good things happen when I’m like this lol

Let’s stay tune to see if Rina keeps this up!

#ThoseRinaRantsDoe

AHHH! Change Is Coming!!!

Okay so I’m not afraid of change or anything. I actually love change! The change that’s about to happen tho…

Sooo as I’ve ranted before, I absolutely HATE my job. Oh wait, did I say hate? I meant absolutely despise with every breathe and every fart. So, y’know, just a likkle bit.

In an attempt to change that, I’ve decided to do something drastic that I told myself NOT to do: I’m quitting without finding another job first…

AHHHHHHHH!!!!

I know that sounds really irresponsible and it sorta is but I cannot stand another minute in that place, let alone however many days/months til I find a new job. I actually woke up one morning, went to work, and opened the store. After about 10 second, I realized that I hated being there so much that it was starting to strongly affect me mentally, which was causing physical pains as well. Y’all don’t know me but I’m prone to depression and I know that when I get to this stage, I’m 5 seconds away from having a breakdown.

How this breakdown is going to manifest? I have no idea. It could be just me breaking down in tears one day, either at work or at home; it could be me blowing the fuck up and getting seriously anger, almost to the point of violence at work (my Boss usually leaves me feeling angry when she’s around); it could be that I’m actually having a breakdown now by just up and saying, as of Jan. 31st, I no longer work there. I have no fucking clue.

I do know, however, that I will NOT be working there as of Feb. 1st.

Now on to some exciting news:

I HAVE 2 JOB PROSPECTS!!! (I also don’t actually know if “prospects” is the correct word to use…oh well)

Okay so, the place I work for now? There’s a new store opening in the airport. Since all the stores are franchise, therefore independently owned, it’s not about getting transferred. I actually need to go and apply, which I did. I was an idiot tho and didn’t check my email until days later and realised that the owner had messaged me back the next day, asking about getting me in for an interview. Forgive me, but I’m used to people calling you for interviews. I message her quickly saying I’m so sorry and that I was busy and I gave her all my availabilities for interview times. I’m going to New Orleans next week, which I explained to her, and she said let her know when I get back so we can get an interview in after. I’m hopeful lol

Next job “prospect,” is FOR A FUCKING CRUISE LINE!!! (Can you tell I really want this one?) I get email notifications for when they’re recruiting for positions and I thought “why the fuck not?” Sent off my resume. This time tho, I was smart. Checked my email twice the next day. Got an email asking to schedule a skype interview and to pick a time slot. If I wasn’t working on Monday, I would have chosen the earliest Monday time. As it stands, I have the earliest Tuesday time and I’ll be damned if I don’t wake up like 2 hrs ahead, just to shower, eat, and look fancy for a skype interview. Only small [potential] drawback is that the larger interview/hiring happens on the 19th and that’s the day I get back from New Orleans. If I make it thru the skype interview, I’m hoping that the stuff happening on the 19th takes all day so I can still get there after landing, or the lady likes me enough to compromise time slots.

This is so scary and exciting, it’s ridiculous. Honestly, even tho I SERIOUSLY want the cruise job, I will settle for either just so I’m not completely jobless when I leave where I work now. That would be great and I’d still have kept my promise to myself 🙂

Wish me luck?

#ThoseRinaRantsTho

Oh it’s the New Year? Damn, now I need a Resolution -_-

Hello!!

Rina here and I would like to say:

HAPPY NEW YEARS!!!!

Soooooo I haven’t really been blogging but none the less, I hope y’all had some fun holiday times, lots of family lovin’ (which includes but isn’t limited to friends-as-family), some boozin, if you’re in to that and some OJ if you’re not (I can’t fuck with you in you ain’t into dat OJ doe…real talks).

So with this New Year stuff comes some resolution crap

*cues Aaliyah’s “We Need A Resolution”*

And I’ve been sitting here thinking hard (…not that hard) about what arbitrary list of shit I’m gonna “work on” this year. Then I thought to myself:

Rina: “Self”

Self: “Yea?”

Rina: “What if we actually make a list?”

Self: “Whatchu talkin bout Rina?”

Rina: “Like, a real list of shit and actually do it?”

Self: “…that’s crazy talk…I LOVE IT!! But can we do it? Like, really do it?”

Rina: “I dunno but I’m done to really trying!”

That convo was all entertaining and shit, but I realized, due to my goldfish memory, I could never remember some imaginary list I created at the beginning of the year. if I wrote that shit down somewhere, I would lose it…in 0.2 seconds flat.

So I started thinking, what can I really do with myself this year?

I know I don’t do nothing with myself all year. I don’t believe anyone can say that they’ve never changed or been that same person from beginning to end of a year. That shit happens gradually tho. Things just happen to me gradually, little by little, step by step.

Then I thought, “Oh, Rina! That was some fancy thoughts you done thunk!”

And it hit me…

I’m gonna creating a small list of things (like 3 or 4 items) for me to do each month. I’m gonna buy one of this marker things that you can use to write on your mirror with, without marking up your mirror permanently. I’ll write this small list of things where I see them everyday!

(I’m that vain that I look at myself in my mirror and just stare, multiple times a day lol…unless I feel like something is staring back. Then I avoid that shit until it’s gone. NOT TODAY SATAN!!!)

I think this is a good idea for me personally. Feel free to thief it if you wanna try it ’cause it sounds like a good idea for you too. Here’s January’s list:

1. Start going to the gym again.
2. Read more books
3. Apply for jobs so you can leave the fucking mall!
4. Blog more

Not too hard, right?

What are some of y’all’s “resolutions?” I’m curious (nosy) to know. Maybe I’ll steal some of yours…(probably)

Hey!!! It’s my first post of the year!!!! Yayyyy!!!!

#ThoseRinaRantsDoe

Lesbian Man Crush…Only Fair For A Monday

Umm…Rina. Lesbians don’t have man crushes. Isn’t that kind of the point?

Hookay, let us start with a definition of a lesbian (via Yahoo! lol):

Lesbian (n.)

1. A native or inhabitant of Lesbos
2. The ancient Greek dialect of Lesbos

(adj.)

1. Of or relating to Lesbos

So apparently Lesbos is the third largest Greek island, located in northeastern Aegean Sea. I’m thinking I need to move there so I can be the Lesbian lesbian. Who’s with me?

Now on to the wiki definition:

A lesbian is a female homosexual; a female who experiences romantic love or sexual attraction to other females. The term lesbian is also used with regard to sexual identity or sexual behavior, regardless of sexual orientation, or as an adjective to characterize or associate nouns with female homosexuality or same-sex attraction.

I don’t quite like that one either so here’s Rina’s definition:

Lesbian (n):

Female identified persons who are physically, emotionally, romantically, and mentally attracted to other female identified persons.

Are we good? No? Oh well, I’m moving on…

LESBIAN MAN CRUSHES!!! Yes, lesbians can have man crushes. No, this does not mean we are now magically straight or bisexual. We still don’t really want dat peen.

Simply put, lesbians can recognize when another individual is attractive. Like when straight girls see a pretty girl and say “oh, she’s pretty.” Doesn’t mean they wanna sit on her face…just means she has visually pleasing features.

That’s how lesbians feel about their man crushes. The man has visually appealing features and could be the potential sperm donor… (yes, that’s sometimes a thought for some lesbians)

May I repeat: This does not mean there is a want for some cis male’s penis.

Note: Cis means that a person identifies with the sex they were born into. So your sex and gender identity matches.

Example: I seriously love gingers. Why? Probably ’cause they’re the odd ones out and people said gingers had no souls but the gings I knew were fucking awesome! Also, redhead women are fucking sexy.

Rina, what does this have to do with your example? I’m getting there…

At work, there’s this random redhead man that comes to buy smoothies every once in a while. I have no idea where her works, or what he does but I fucking love him. The red hair is that strong vibrant color. He looks physically fit, and he’s always dressed sooooo proper, with his suit and tie. He has gorgeous light blue eyes and strong facial features. He is this lesbian’s man crush. I told my friend that I want his babies so he needs to squirt in a cup so I can take that shit to a doctor and just say “inject me, bitch!” Then I could potentially have mixed ginger babies…a rarity but it happens. I’ve seen it lol

See, even though he’s fucking gorgeous, I don’t actually want what’s below his belt. I just recognize that he’s pretty.

To all my lesbians out there, don’t be ashamed to #MCM on instagram!!! We are allowed to recognize someone with good face game.

To all y’all waiting on the sidelines…we still aren’t magically straight or bisexual.

#ThoseRinaRantsDoe

So I Got Older Last Weekend…

Hey hey hey!!!

So may I start off by saying, I apologise for not ranting recently? I’m sorry.

My head space has actually been all over the place lately and, last week, it was just in a whirl that concluded in me actually cleaning my room…trust me, it makes sense in Rina’s world. This is not the point though. The point is last weekend was my birthday!!! Whooooooooo…not actually that amazing tho lol

Okay well it was not horrible.

I don’t particularly like my birthday because of the time of year it’s in. I was born Dec. 20th 1991 (where my 90s Sagittariuses at?!). It’s 5 days before Christmas so growing up, in school, the last day either fell on it or just before it and right after that, people would go on vacations. No one would really be around for me to throw a party. I did it one year and it was fun, don’t get me wrong, but less than half the people invited came. Also, it’s during fucking winter!!! Well, technically fall but I live in Canada so fall really is only the last 3 weeks of September and then winter for the next 6 months…

I was born on the island of Trinidad where snow does not exist. I now live in Canada where snow won’t fucking stop existing. See my dilemma? Icing on the cake? Seasonal depression is a real thing…

Anywho…this year, my uncle, who’s birthday is 3 days before mine, turned 60 and his family threw him a party that just so happened to fall on my birthday. Obviously I had to go! He lives in Harlem btw so yay!!! New York trip!!!

My mother, my sister, and I decided to drive down. Cool beans, we’ve done this many times before. All we had to do was drop off our pet guinea pig, Spice, at my bff’s house (her son ADORES Spice), grab some food for the road, and we were set. Shoulda been smooth sailing, no?

No.

I got a cheese quesadilla from this mexican take-out place I ALWAYS go to, which I devoured before we even got to Wendy’s for my sister (mum said she wasn’t hungry). Then we proceeded to “hit the road,” as the corny saying goes. Ummm…why did my mother decided to go some other route that we had NEVER gone before? Took us 4 hours to get out of Canada, when it usually takes us 2, and we barely saw cars along the way.

I shit you not, we stop to get gas at this off the path, straight out of some zombie apocalypse/Friday the 13th horror movie gas station. The whole time I was envisioning some fucked up/half decayed creature crawl out the woods only to race towards our car, where I would have to quickly pull my mother in the car and gun it, hitting the creature and getting the FUCK outta there. My sister envisioned the same shit, just with an axe murderer instead.

Then, about 5 hrs in, my mum stopped at a rest stop to take a nap (I can drive but she doesn’t sleep if I’m behind the wheel so we would still have to stop anyways). We set alarms for an hour. Hour’s done and mum gets ready to drive off and I tell her don’t go because I feel to barf. After another hour nap, dis bitch named Rina threw open her car door and got reintroduced to her cheese quesadilla…

Heeeellllllllooooo food poisoning.

Are you fucking kidding me?! What should have been 2 more hours of driving turned into 3.5 ’cause I had to stop and puke 2 more times and shit once. Seriously?!

That was Thursday night into Friday morning. Friday I was just down for the count so ain’t shit happen that day. Well, shit happened but that’s about it (aha get it?).

Saturday! Actual birthday. I was introduced to my adorably pregnant cousin Elmo’s (yes that’s an alias) cousin from the UK (let’s call her London). London is my uncle’s brother’s daughter (no relation to me ’cause it’s my uncle-in-law, hence why I don’t really recall if I’ve ever met her before). Random tidbit: she’s FACKIN gorgeous…like, seriously…drool.

Back to reality: London and her parents (who literally flew in just for the day…dafaq?) went shopping so Elmo, my sister, and I were left to peel potatoes, boil ’em, then boil macaroni.

Yes, I spent my birthday preparing food (sorta) for my uncle’s 60th.

Whatever tho….I did it with no pants on *shrugs*

Fast forward to the party. It was supposed to be a surprise but I’m pretty sure my uncle knew. What I don’t think he knew was how much people were actually gonna be there (quite a bit) and who (aside from family and regular friends, lots of his work peeps showed up!). My uncle is so cute! He doesn’t express emotions a lot, so when he’s visibly happy, he’s really fucking happy! Music was good and music was great (SOCA!!!!). And when cam time for speeches, I MADE A SPEECH!!!

That’s how you know I had some liqueur in me…I don’t do that shit!

I made the speech saying how much I love him and that he’s like a second father to me and that I didn’t really get a birthday this year but that’s okay. I gladly gave up my birthday to celebrate a great man.

Y’all bitches better have teared up on that last part…

So despite the lack of b’day celebrations for me, I had a great time turning 23. Started off shitty (literally) but ended in a smile. I feel very blessed to have seen another year and I can’t wait to see more 🙂

#ThoseRinaRantsDoe

Skinny People Problems: What Is Weight?

This one is for my Brown Sugar and, the ever lovely, Mr O’Handsome ❤

Dafaq Rina?! Why is weight a problem for skinny people?

Well for one thing, I can’t gain it…

Still not seeing the problem…

For all y’all motherfuckers who don’t see the problem, sit down and shut the fuck up while I spit mad verses at ya’ll.

Okay so, if you haven’t guessed from the title of this rant, I’m skinny. I’ve always been skinny. I’m bout that fast metabolism life…most of the time. My only problem is, whether I want to or not, I can’t gain weight…

Here’s why that is a problem: Not everyone wants to be skinny!

I’ve actually always been insecure about how small I am. As a child, I had knobby ass knees, no bum, twig arms, my ears looked too big for my head, etc. I hated it!! Also, people always felt the need to fucking point out how small I was. I live with this everyday bitch…I KNOW HOW SMALL I AM!!!

As I am now, at the age of 23, I’ve gotten to a place where I’m mostly comfortable with my body. I grew into my frame with slender curves, medium sized and sorta perky (and pierced) breasts, my legs no longer look like a damn pogo stick (visual: thighs with a little more meat than my twig like calves). I value my metabolism (most of the time), and I acknowledge the fact that I do not get unfairly discriminated against like our more voluptuous and full-bodied friends (if I’ve offended anyone, with my wording choice, I sincerely apologize!).

But gaining weight is now a thing for me as I actually want to be more muscular (so the good kinda of weight). I don’t think people realize that metabolisms can burn muscles just as well as it burns fat. I had a personal trainer who explained to me that if I wanted to get more muscular, I couldn’t do much cardio (which I actually adore) because it activates my metabolism heavily and burns muscle too. My brother, who is a personal trainer as well, made a nutritional kind of plan for me and he was actually kind of taken back by how much protein I would have to consume a day, just to put on weight and build muscle. I don’t remember the exact number but let’s just say, it was A LOT! I barely eat half of the amount in a week, let alone a day…

Before this health kick that I’m trying out, I actually went through a year where I ate like shit, just to see how much weight I can gain. Not a fucking pound was gained…

After this, I sorta became fascinated with idea of gaining weight, but in a healthy way

I was 90 lbs going into high school, went to 100 for about a year, and fluctuated between 105 and 110 for a bit, and now I fluctuate between 115 and 120 from the random bits of muscle I’ve actually managed to attain. Let’s also keep in mind that I’m 5′ 7.5″ so if you put that on the (albeit somewhat fail) BMI scale thing, I’m bordering between underweight and just right, but mostly underweight. I hate that word…underweight *bleh*

Not all skinny people want to be skinny, just like not all big people want to be big. In both scenarios, sometimes it’s really hard to change that and it requires a shit ton of work. I also, actually know a few skinny bitches (like Brown Sugar and Mr. O’Handsome) who feel the same. If you love you just the way you are, then do you Boo Boo! All the power! I’m gonna love you no matter what!

Just don’t tell me I can’t do, or feel, what or how I damn want with my own body.

I just want to be super fit like Michelle Lewin or Massiel “Mankofit” Arias 😥

(Google them…They’ll change yo’ life…today!)

#ThoseRinaRantsDoe