Hey hey hey!!!
So may I start off by saying, I apologise for not ranting recently? I’m sorry.
My head space has actually been all over the place lately and, last week, it was just in a whirl that concluded in me actually cleaning my room…trust me, it makes sense in Rina’s world. This is not the point though. The point is last weekend was my birthday!!! Whooooooooo…not actually that amazing tho lol
Okay well it was not horrible.
I don’t particularly like my birthday because of the time of year it’s in. I was born Dec. 20th 1991 (where my 90s Sagittariuses at?!). It’s 5 days before Christmas so growing up, in school, the last day either fell on it or just before it and right after that, people would go on vacations. No one would really be around for me to throw a party. I did it one year and it was fun, don’t get me wrong, but less than half the people invited came. Also, it’s during fucking winter!!! Well, technically fall but I live in Canada so fall really is only the last 3 weeks of September and then winter for the next 6 months…
I was born on the island of Trinidad where snow does not exist. I now live in Canada where snow won’t fucking stop existing. See my dilemma? Icing on the cake? Seasonal depression is a real thing…
Anywho…this year, my uncle, who’s birthday is 3 days before mine, turned 60 and his family threw him a party that just so happened to fall on my birthday. Obviously I had to go! He lives in Harlem btw so yay!!! New York trip!!!
My mother, my sister, and I decided to drive down. Cool beans, we’ve done this many times before. All we had to do was drop off our pet guinea pig, Spice, at my bff’s house (her son ADORES Spice), grab some food for the road, and we were set. Shoulda been smooth sailing, no?
No.
I got a cheese quesadilla from this mexican take-out place I ALWAYS go to, which I devoured before we even got to Wendy’s for my sister (mum said she wasn’t hungry). Then we proceeded to “hit the road,” as the corny saying goes. Ummm…why did my mother decided to go some other route that we had NEVER gone before? Took us 4 hours to get out of Canada, when it usually takes us 2, and we barely saw cars along the way.
I shit you not, we stop to get gas at this off the path, straight out of some zombie apocalypse/Friday the 13th horror movie gas station. The whole time I was envisioning some fucked up/half decayed creature crawl out the woods only to race towards our car, where I would have to quickly pull my mother in the car and gun it, hitting the creature and getting the FUCK outta there. My sister envisioned the same shit, just with an axe murderer instead.
Then, about 5 hrs in, my mum stopped at a rest stop to take a nap (I can drive but she doesn’t sleep if I’m behind the wheel so we would still have to stop anyways). We set alarms for an hour. Hour’s done and mum gets ready to drive off and I tell her don’t go because I feel to barf. After another hour nap, dis bitch named Rina threw open her car door and got reintroduced to her cheese quesadilla…
Heeeellllllllooooo food poisoning.
Are you fucking kidding me?! What should have been 2 more hours of driving turned into 3.5 ’cause I had to stop and puke 2 more times and shit once. Seriously?!
That was Thursday night into Friday morning. Friday I was just down for the count so ain’t shit happen that day. Well, shit happened but that’s about it (aha get it?).
Saturday! Actual birthday. I was introduced to my adorably pregnant cousin Elmo’s (yes that’s an alias) cousin from the UK (let’s call her London). London is my uncle’s brother’s daughter (no relation to me ’cause it’s my uncle-in-law, hence why I don’t really recall if I’ve ever met her before). Random tidbit: she’s FACKIN gorgeous…like, seriously…drool.
Back to reality: London and her parents (who literally flew in just for the day…dafaq?) went shopping so Elmo, my sister, and I were left to peel potatoes, boil ’em, then boil macaroni.
Yes, I spent my birthday preparing food (sorta) for my uncle’s 60th.
Whatever tho….I did it with no pants on *shrugs*
Fast forward to the party. It was supposed to be a surprise but I’m pretty sure my uncle knew. What I don’t think he knew was how much people were actually gonna be there (quite a bit) and who (aside from family and regular friends, lots of his work peeps showed up!). My uncle is so cute! He doesn’t express emotions a lot, so when he’s visibly happy, he’s really fucking happy! Music was good and music was great (SOCA!!!!). And when cam time for speeches, I MADE A SPEECH!!!
That’s how you know I had some liqueur in me…I don’t do that shit!
I made the speech saying how much I love him and that he’s like a second father to me and that I didn’t really get a birthday this year but that’s okay. I gladly gave up my birthday to celebrate a great man.
Y’all bitches better have teared up on that last part…
So despite the lack of b’day celebrations for me, I had a great time turning 23. Started off shitty (literally) but ended in a smile. I feel very blessed to have seen another year and I can’t wait to see more 🙂
#ThoseRinaRantsDoe
Rina Rants: The Lost Chronicles 